We all can a story like this tell you about our personal or professional lives, we overcome an obstacle and become stronger and more confident as a result. We take negative feedback and use it to move a lot better from a negative situation into one.
But we also have other stories that we do not like to tell. Stories of failure. Stories we things turn around, and make matters worse.
How we initially respond to negative feedback, can mean the difference between success and failure. And it seems that a variety of natural inclinations to our work when we are criticized. We hold ourselves back without realizing it. Why?
• We confuse behavior with identity. I was immediately on the defensive when someone wants to give me feedback. It feels like they me as a professional, and sometimes personal, attack. Of course meant they did not, but the feeling is overwhelming. Even when someone gives agile feedback aimed at my behavior, I tend to internalize it. It feels to me as if my identity is criticized.
• We believe in the fallacy of versatility. In college I wanted to achieve an A in every subject, whether history or computer science. It is difficult to get rid of this thought pattern, even if it is obviously counter-productive at work. Over a few painful years I have learned to look for collaborators when I something is not good. The positive results are amazing. What about my required ten hours of labor, they take ten minutes, of a higher quality, and they love to do it.
• We are perfectionists. When I decided to do something I want to do it right. The first 90% of a project may take me only a few days, but then kicks the perfectionism and I will have spent a week to finalize the last few details correctly. It’s all very well in the early stages of a professional career, but it becomes a trap when the work begins to accumulate. Not long before I oortoegewyd, stressed, and far behind with my work. Just because I can not decide a task has been completed.
With these three general biases in mind, consider it to follow this simple process when you receive negative feedback. You may find that one of these steps you are more valuable than others. This course, you are free to reject, modify and adjust as necessary.
Step 1: Embrace emotions. It’s only natural to get upset when someone gives you negative feedback. I’ll be the first person to admit it. So allow yourself to be upset. Do not try to suppress the feeling of hurt pride, fear or anger. Reach out to someone off steam outside work and bladder. Let your emotions to subside before you move on.
Step 2: Do not allow negativity to take over. Everything flows from this decision. It takes discipline to label someone else as a scoundrel (or worse) because he did not give negative feedback. Think of it as a very clumsy way to invest in you. Remember, the person takes merely the time to offer feedback because he still cares about you!
Step 3: Prioritize. You may have to sift through a lot of different pieces of feedback and determine what really gives worth to attention to. Ask yourself: “Is the cabbage sauce was?” In other words, what is the one thing I have to address immediately? What will make the rest of my life easier? Will it trickle in a positive way to other aspects of my work?
Step 4: Turn the skill. Take this a key area for self-improvement and take a minute – even ten seconds – to think about how you are currently performing. Now identify a way you can change this behavior to improve yourself. For example, I talk too much during meetings. It is not realistic to think I’ll ever stop talking, but I can focus on asking questions instead of commenting.
Step 5: Commit yourself. Incentives are better than discipline. It would be great if we could always do the right thing. But this is a fantasy. The best way to find yourself is to create an environment of accountability. You will naturally think of ways to change. So contact the person who gave you the negative feedback, thank him for it, and schedule a time later on about a month to meet. Let him know about your goal to change and how you will measure success.
Source: Harvard Business Review